A Short Story by Hao Zhongtao
These days free things are all too rare, but tickets to today's "Lunatic of the Year Competition" are free! This is great. After flitting about in the building for over a half hour, I finally saw the bright lights of the auditorium.
But alas I was late! Hearing the announcer call out the number of the next contestant, I surmised that I had already missed six "lunatic" performances. As I scanned the auditorium, my eardrums were pierced by sharp magnetic resonance; someone was working on the microphone. I looked up - "lunatic" number 7 was beginning his spiel! I squeezed forward in an effort to minimize the distance between myself and the stage.
"My god, my god! My god¡all of these brains¡could they have come here to hear my speech? My god, my god! It's all a bit overwhelming, I'm nervous¡a nervous wreck. But no matter what, I must speak, I absolutely have to speak¡must speak...must muster up my courage...but to be honest¡I'm dumbstruck."
"Haha, number 7 is quite longwinded. Get on with it!" Someone grumbles from offstage.
"Uh¡my god, well, I know for a fact...once I get started, you'll all see me as a lunatic"
"Shit man, number 7, what are you going to say?!" Someone down there is getting fed up.
"What I want to say is, ladies...gentlemen¡what I want to say is, really strange. But I beg of you, don't see me as a lunatic. It is only because I am of sound mind that I was able to see this strange thing I am about to reveal to you."
"Okay, lunatic, I mean, number 7, who cares if you're crazy, speak your piece." The crowd is in unison.
"Okay, ladies and gentlemen, I'm not a lunatic, but I am part of a rather deranged class of people: these people think more than others; they're a cut above, just above the normal line of thought. Think about it, ladies¡gentlemen, in this world, no one has ever really thought about anything. They're all to busy with their affairs, all working towards enrichment and gratification. They're always shaping their lives, or engaging in silly trifles like theatre, painting, music, or busy with politics, or busy with domestic concerns. So, who is doing the thinking? Who? Nobody at all! Oh! I'm so worked up! Sorry. Let's get back to the topic at hand.
"I've been here for five years now. You guys don't know me, because I never grace the halls of entertainment or gambling, and I don't mix with most people. I live on a cliff by the sea, right, and there is a giant tree that grows right out of the world...Um, that's right, it grows right out of the world. I really like that place, and that giant tree, and I don't know any place more beautiful, any place more conducive to health. I'm talking about contemplative health. My best days are those spent lying on the grass a hundred meters above the crashing waves, soaking in the lovely sunrays, and hopefully a light breeze blowing just enough to send my silk handkerchief aflutter. Then I can think smoothly. This cliff is a shimmering path between the sea and sky, and that giant tree is an emerald path, one which can lead you to the end of the earth, the edge of the land, the top of the sea...Oh, my god! Ladies...gentlemen, do you know? The edge of our world, the end of the sea...it's green! It's red!" Number 7 seems to be shaking a bit.
"Haha, he really is a lunatic, mumbling all that crazy gibberish!" The crowd is getting riled up.
"Uh, ladies...gentlemen, would you allow me to ask you a question?
"Do you think that there are people living on other planets?"
"Of course, you're not only crazy, you're also stupid. Of course there are people living on other planets."
"Haha! I'm lucky! I'm
so fortunate! I am so relieved! Those who don't believe in life on other
planets are stupid. Only morons, idiots, fools and nimrods would believe
that the millions and millions of stars glow and spin just for the enjoyment
of us common beings. Only they wouldn't understand that in this great
world of ours, the sea is nothing but an invisible speck of dust and that
we living creatures floating here are nothing but a few molecules in the
life of our universe¡no, atoms...no, nanoparticles. You just
sit there and think for ten minutes or even ten hours, and you can see
why we know nothing, why we can't figure anything out or understand it.
I just know a little bit, and beyond that, above that or below that, I
know absolutely nothing, and when we think something is this way, it will
surely be that way. Ha! Ha! Ha! If for instance, someone suddenly revealed
to me the profound mysteries of the great beings beyond this world, like
this person not long ago who told me of his adventure: he had, for the
first time in his life, taken a sailboat instead of swimming, and encountered
the most terrifying attack - his boat was buffeted by an endless siege
of massive waves, one after the other¡Oh, my god! One massive
wave after the other, almost drowning this the most accomplished of swimmers.
Behind the waves he saw, murkily, an unimaginably immense beast! He was
explaining to me the mystery of the great beings beyond this world, do
you believe it? I, too, am a moron. This mystery...the mysteries of the
world...we can never understand them...no way. Our brains grew only to
understand the things in this sea we are in, and they can't expand any
further. They are limited, just as our lives are, locked in this little,
square sea that holds us...right, our sea is square. I swam to its very
edge...everything our minds deduce is based on comparison. Ladies and
gentlemen, take a look. Without exception, everyone is so stupid, so narrow-minded,
even though we haven't the slightest doubt about our intelligence. Our
intelligence is not far removed from the instincts of that seaweed. We
can't even see through our own weakness. In our lives, all we are capable
of understanding are the types and prices of water fleas, just the value
of an section-less larva, perhaps maybe we can squeeze out a couple of
ministers or artists."
"He's getting nuttier by the moment, we don't even understand what
he's saying!" People offstage were discussing.
"That's about it. We're just right for this
square sea we inhabit, struggling against each other to fill our bellies.
We've only just invented a stage on which to perform, like this one here.
Every time there is an invention, we sit there amazed like little children,
but if we were high level creatures, how many centuries ago would we have
realized that struggling against each other would just lead to our destruction
like so many 'dominoes'...Oh, do you people know what 'dominoes' are?
Uh¡do you believe me? I once looked through the end of this
square sea¡I saw this massive beast beyond the universe speaking
this name and playing with a pile of brightly colored things...very colorful...all
of the same size¡when one fell...in just a moment...just a
fraction of a moment¡they all fell down...Whoa, all of those
colorful things...when they disappeared...a puff of smoke went out in
a wave...then I heard a massive boom, a shocking boom coming from beyond
the universe¡Oh, my god...my god!"
Take this lunatic down! We've heard enough! No need for any more lunatics,
the champion is definitely number 7!" The crowd grew restless.
"Yes, it's definitely him! This is the oddest thing we've ever heard.
This guy's a real nutcase!" Sounds of approval were growing ever
louder.
All you could see was number 7, getting riled up on stage, spreading his
fins in an effort to keep the workers from carrying him off stage, trying
to hold on to the microphone...
"Goodbye ladies and gentlemen, what you have heard today are not
the words of a lunatic. Think about it for a while. One day, you can tell
others about what you heard today."
Number 7 didn't finish before he was carried away. The crowd was overcome
with laughter. I erected myself, stretching out my neck to get a better
look at number 7. He didn't look like a simple, stupid goldfish. Then
I saw him clearly; number 7 is that one I often saw swimming around the
'tree that grows out of the world', that big red fish with no scales.
(The End)
